The Choice is Love
On my path, I’ve studied a variety of philosophies, read myriad books, taken numerous workshops, seminars and introspective programs. Early on in my studies, I noticed many common threads which ran through the ancient and modern teachings alike. The most influential being that our greatest expression of God lies in our ability to love. The mere thought of living my life from a foundation of pure love affected me so profoundly that I made a commitment to choose love in all situations, no matter what. My commitment was genuine then as it is now as I continue to practice the art of living in love-based consciousness.
Most will agree that with all the challenges we face in life, choosing love in all circumstances doesn’t just happen. Committing to live a love-based life takes a great deal of mindfulness on many levels. My greatest challenge was in keeping my heart open with a person who appeared less than loving toward me. I felt I truly knew how to be a loving partner and compassionate friend in my relationships, yet I was still not attracting the pure love I was seeking in a mate. After years of very painful experiences, I finally made a choice to put a pause on being mated and live my life as a single person. I soon realized that I felt amazingly free and at ease. I became happily single. I’d wake up most every morning feeling inspired, enthusiastic and so very much in love With Life!
Others expressed their disbelief in my happiness and shared their opinions about my choice. For most my choice was not acceptable. I heard, “What a waste!” and “But aren’t you lonely?” and “Everybody needs somebody!” And on and on…I asked my friends to honor and accept my choice and for some, to please stop trying to fix me or fix me up. I was ecstatically happy and relieved to live my life free from the inevitable heartache that followed the initial Eros period of falling in love. I had learned that being complete and whole must come from within me rather than from another.. I felt happy, balanced and free. I learned to shift my sexual energy into creativity and became tremendously productive. I continued to experience wonderful, loving relationships with my brothers, sisters and all. I became more relaxed with being myself around people rather than trying to impress anyone who could be a potential mate. Most importantly, I developed a new appreciation for myself which was accompanied by a deepened respect and a higher self esteem…more than I knew was possible.
A particular love of mine is to share time with my beloved dolphin family in the warm Hawaiian waters. One of my greatest joys is to introduce people to my finned relatives in a retreat format. During my morning swims a week prior to one of my retreats, I was blessed with especially interactive dolphin encounters. A large male dolphin I named Slash, (he acquired long scar below his dorsal fin) and a female dolphin I named Cashew with her new baby, Peanut, would join me on my daily swims. Each day, Slash approached me on my right and Cashew and Peanut on my left. They escorted me to where the rest of their pod was, accepting me completely as a member of their group. We swam together for hours at a slow steady pace. We moved through the water turning and diving as one, all the while softly speaking with each other telepathically. While swimming, we’d meditate, play, and share ideas, questions and even songs. They shared simple yet profound wisdom with me that was easily understood, similar to old friends and colleagues sharing from a gentle yet exalted place.
It was during one of these encounters that I heard, “We understand that you’ve chosen not to be mated, and that’s fine. What we’d like to know is, had you make this choice out of fear or love?” Immediately after the dolphins asked their question, I felt a welling up of awareness within me. A grand “a-ha!” I began laughing, spinning and spiraling underneath the waves. The purpose for their query was loud and clear. I felt such a sure reception of a deeper truth. The dolphins showed their delight at my immediate understanding by leaping into the air and plunging back into the water joining me in a good laugh at myself. Several took turns swimming along side of me, nodding their heads with gapping open smiles and their pectoral fins repeating staccato motions forward and back. I’ll always treasure this experience. The dolphins brought so much awareness to me in such a direct, matter of fact, yet light manner. They helped me awaken to a new perspective of realization.
Once out of the water, I had much to think about. It was true. The bottom line was I had chosen not to be mated out of fear…fear of being hurt, fear of rejection, abandonment, discordance with another, and all of relationship’s many shadow sides. The dolphins question inspired me. Now an additional insight was before me which strengthened my commitment to live from a renewed love-based consciousness.
Trust. I heard the word as if it was for the first time. Now I truly understood its meaning. To trust myself, my inner voice, my inner wisdom, my inner knowing and be true to myself by following my own guidance. Through trust I was able to open my heart and keep it open. And in keeping my heart open, I allowed myself to feel the pain which I still held there. I bravely looked at the origin of my pain and deeply explored what it had to teach me. Then I released the pain and infused my heart with more light and more love. I healed on a much deeper level than I ever had the courage to do before. I realized I was carrying around so much hurt, resentment, anger and fear and that’s what I was attracting. I then learned the importance of using discernment and strengthened myself from a foundation of grace.
From then on, I watched with more awareness the people and situations I attracted to gage how I was recovering from my old wounds. And from that place, I developed a stronger faith. My dolphin friends felt my genuine commitment to love and knew I was carrying around conflicting feelings. Dolphins love to help and they have a unique ability to read people so well. They gave me such a profound gift within the simplest of questions. A gift which helped me open my eyes to how I was blocking the very thing I had been longing for.
Copyright 1999, by Sheoli Makara.